How Self-Care Helps You Through Life’s Difficult Times: Opinion


February is designated as Black History Month. Along with the celebration of Valentine’s Day, February is also a month of love. Love is a transforming force and a superpower. Negative experiences of racism against African Americans can impact self-esteem and dampen self-esteem. Although we are past Valentine’s Day, the desire for romantic love, companionship, and deeper relationships with significant others still lingers for many people. During difficult times in our human experience, self-love becomes an important tool for activating power and freedom.

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Self-love means honoring yourself

As humans, we go through uncomfortable times that stretch us like a rubber band. We get frustrated, feel pain, and inevitably become uncomfortable. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable. It’s part of the human experience. Learning to love yourself requires an intentional acceptance of our humanity. Looking at our situations with an honest, non-judgmental lens is a way to accept who we are and lovingly push through the things we would like to change about ourselves. Journaling our emotions and thoughts is a good way to become more aware of who we are and the things we want to improve.

Self-love is deciding to overcome

One of the best tools we have is the power to make decisions. Our decisions paint our world. Practicing self-love enables us to make powerful decisions even when we experience discomfort. Deciding to take on challenges means accepting to keep moving and enjoying life. It also involves thinking positive thoughts about our situation. These positive thoughts can transform our reality. They will help us see the beauty in every moment. Delighting in everyday moments opens the door to experiencing more self-love. Creating a joyful moment can be as simple as falling to the ground and making snow angels during a blizzard. It is our birthright to overcome joyfully.

Here are some examples of thoughts to help overcome with joy:

  • “I hear myself complaining about how I feel. Instead, I choose to find ease in celebrating myself. Right now, I’m celebrating the growth I’ve made by stepping out of my comfort zone.
  • “To be honest, the pressure makes me want to cry. Instead of crying all day, I’ll turn on self-compassion and cry for a few minutes. Then I’ll get up and enjoy a book. Reading makes my happy heart.
  • ” There are plenty of things to do. Yet I made a vital commitment. Each day will begin and end with gratitude and joy.

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We will face uncomfortable moments in our human experience. We can change our way of thinking by finding pleasure even in difficult times. We have opportunities to seek freedom and self-love. Life is a classroom and we are lifelong learners. To be fully alive in your human experience, commit to finding the opportunity to practice self-love. We have an invitation to walk the path of love, even when we feel uncomfortable. The truth is, you are perfectly loved where you are, here and now.

Kayla Vivian is a life coach. Visit and claim your free thirty-minute discovery session.


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