Maynard James Keenan has fighting skills that could have saved Chris Rock


If only Chris Rock had been friends with Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan, the craziest moment in Oscars history might have turned out very differently.

By now everyone knows what happened at last weekend’s Oscars: Chris Rock makes a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith laughs then gets angry, Will Smith storms off stage and slaps Chris Rock, and the world falls apart for a week. .

Now even the vocalists of iconic metal bands weigh in. Keenan recently earned his brown belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and uploaded a clip of him in action to Instagram today. “We’re going to go over some of the techniques that could have saved Chris Rock’s life,” he tells the camera.

According to Keenan’s training, Rock’s first fatal mistake was having his hands behind his back. His solution is – and get ready for a dad joke here – a hand block that Keenan calls a “cuck block”. “I’ll see myself outside,” he said with a smile as he retreated out of sight.

I can’t say which was worse, Keenan’s pun or Rock’s GI Jane joke. “I realize we’re about to beat this dead horse, but damn kit,” Keenan captioned the post.

Reporting to Tool news, the band re-recorded and released “Opiate” as “Opiate2” last month. Almost twice as long as the original thanks to an extended instrumental mid-section, an official music video was also released to commemorate the EP’s 30th anniversary.

For Will Smith, his future looks bleak. After days of rumors about what they would do, the Academy has confirmed that disciplinary proceedings will be initiated against the actor, with the threat of expulsion still looming.

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“The Board of Governors today initiated disciplinary proceedings against Mr. Smith for breaching the Academy’s standards of conduct, including inappropriate physical contact, abusive or threatening behavior and undermining the integrity of the Academy,” says their press release.

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