Submit up to 25 entries to wapo.st/enter-invite-1475 (no capitals in web address). The deadline is Monday February 28 (you have an extra week!); results appear March 13 in print, March 10 online.
The winner takes home the Clowning Achievement, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives this surprisingly well-made pair of high waisted turkey foot socks. When it’s time to visit future in-laws for Thanksgiving, what could be more appropriate? They should fit the feet of both genders, although they can’t reach everyone’s knees. the Empress, who models them here, is not a big bird.
The Style Conversational: The Empress’ weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. See this week’s, published late Thursday, February 10, at wapo.st/conv1475.
The “You’re Invited” podcast: eighteen half-hour episodes, including a dish from the Empress and the Tsar, and advice from the best losers. See bit.ly/invite-podcast.
The GooDIE bag: the BIDE neologisms of the week 1471
During week 1471, our annual Tour de Fours neologism contest, we asked for new words or phrases containing the four consecutive letters BIDE, in any order. You guys respected – 1,400 times more.
I AMBEDIIS LYING : The thing that makes you roll over and go back to sleep. “Sorry I’m late for work, but I ran into a major problem this morning.” (David Stoner, Washington)
BIDEN-GO-SEEK: The president’s search for any deal across the aisle. “After hearing about Biden-Go-Seek, even cricketers said, ‘This game is going on too long.’ ” (Leif Picoult, Rockville, Maryland)
APPEDBIOLOGY: Sex. “Hey, baby, did you know I have a master’s degree in applied biology?” (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Michigan)
And the winner of the clownish achievement:
STUPI WOULD BELT! : One that has gone and gotten smaller over the past year. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Alabama)
MODIFY: Stay awake at night perfecting the cue you should gave this morning. (Sam Mertens, SilverSpring)
UNSTABLE: Oh, the many uses of the humble garden hose. (Pam Shermeyer, Lathrup Village, Michigan)
BEDI CHEVALIER: A master in the use of the Delight Saber. (William Kennard, Arlington, Virginia)
ACID BEES: Murder hornets are so 2020. (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Virginia)
PLAN B DIET: When plan A, the chocolate diet, doesn’t work. (Lori Lipman Brown, Silver Spring, Maryland)
PRIVATE OFFER: 24 no trumps! (Barry Koch, Catlett, Virginia)
LIBIDEWWW: When your parents tell you they’re going upstairs early tonight because they’re “in the mood.” (Jeff Shirley)
B.DIE: Choice after “A. Do” in a difficult situation. (Jesse Frankovich)
ALL CARBOHYDRATE DIET: Can man live on bread alone? Ok, also pizza. (Jesse Frankovich)
AMBIDEN®: This new drug helps sleep during an unpopular presidency. “Snore more years!” (Craig Dykstra, Centerville, Virginia)
VARIOUS : The world as a sleeping cat sees it. (Sam Mertens)
BORDELO IN COWHIDE: The best little brothel in Denton, TX, or so they tell me. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Texas)
BIDENTAL: To have teeth far too white for an old man. (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Virginia)
BIDET O! : “Daylight comes and I wash my buttocks.” (Craig Dykstra)
BLOBBED: Worked to have donuts recognized as an essential food group. (Beverley Sharp)
BIDETENTION: An agreement to accept each other’s toilet habits. “Okay, if you’re going to hang your pantyhose over the shower bar, I’m going to cut my nails in the sink.” Also known as appeasement or reconciliation. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Maryland)
SOUDOIRS AND MARRIED: What sneering wedding guests called the 82-year-old oil tycoon and his 23-year-old soul mate. (Beverley Sharp)
CONFIT BROCCOLI: When someone hides a bad event and only makes things worse. “I appreciate your attempt to let me down gently, but calling it ‘permanent unpaid vacation’ is just candied broccoli.” (Coleman Glenn, Huntingdon Valley, Pennsylvania)
CARBIE DOLL: Finally from Mattel, a doll that looks like America. (Beverley Sharp)
ANTI-INDEBTEDNESS: What the GOP suddenly becomes, again, as soon as a Democrat takes over the White House. (Chris Doyle)
WICKED: To remove vitriol from an online discussion. “After Aunt Sue denied responses to her Facebook post calling her a murderer, she found some decent chicken recipes.” (Richard Franklin, Alexandria, Virginia)
THE BARD: Action movie rewritten for Shakespeare fans. “Huzzah! Hooray! My joy, I can’t stifle it. / I’m talking to you, you are a mother. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Virginia)
DOUBLE DOUGH: Perform the right way after the bribe. (Dan Helming, Whitemarsh, Pennsylvania)
DISOBEDIENT: “I WILL do a little dance! I’m going to make love a little! I will come down tonight! (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)
FIB DETECTOR: An instrument much more sophisticated than a lie detector, composed of a mom. (Coleman Glenn)
HIDEBALLET: The elaborate dance performed by the Supreme Court nominees. “See how she steered away from this question about respecting precedent – a beautiful ballet hidden there.” (Duncan Stevens)
RABBI ED: In this ’60s sitcom reboot, a horse rules the B’neigh Israel Synagogue. With Mare Winningham galloping. (Bob Kruger, Rockville, Maryland)
MEDIBLAHBLAHBLAH: This lightning-fast analysis of the disastrous side effects of drug advertisements (“…can cause blindness, suicidal thoughts and certain rare cancers…”) (Dudley Thompson, Cary, North Carolina)
DEBITING: A young woman who gets her first bank card. Two weeks later, she sees her account balance and has her DEBITANTE BAWL. (Leif Picoult)
NAMBIPAMBIDEXTRA: Able to go in any ethical direction. “Instead of a moral compass, nambipambidextrous Lindsey Graham has always used a political dowsing stick.” (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
THE INCREDIBLE BOUDER: Bruce Banner: The Teenage Years (Jesse Frankovich)
IDINCREDIBLE: For a teenager who looks like she’s 21. “Wear this dress – it makes you believable.” (Drew Bennett, Rogers, Ark.)
DISOBEDIENCE: What Rodney Dangerfield gets from his dog. (William Kennard, Arlington)
BIDET SOUP: If your French server offers this, it might just be his accent. But it is always safer to opt for the salad … (Duncan Stevens)
DE-IBRILLATOR: Device used to restart the heart of someone who got scared of the “f”. (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Maryland)
HEMORRHOID BELT: An unpleasant region of space near Uranus. (Jesse Frankovich)
Finally: DWEEB DINNERS: It’s not just Loser Brunches anymore! (Roxi Slemp, Bariloche, Argentina) [Next Loser Brunch: Feb. 20 in Bethesda; see wapo.st/conv1475]
Still running – deadline Monday evening, February 14: Our Hyphen the Terrible neologism contest. See wapo.st/invite1474.